HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AMERICA

Not quite sure what the Constitution is, Ivanka heard us practicing this in the garden and called down from the balcony asking, "Is this really necessary for him to learn?" Well, after watching this video clip I think you will agree that it was absolutely necessary!

(yes, that's the Preamble...4 year old little Willy style)
This July 4, I may not be IN America, but I am still definitely OF America.

I DO NOT INTERNET DATE

For months, my dad joked about signing me up on eHarmony.com so he can marry me off since I haven't done it on my own. Funny...kinda. All of the sudden, I have started getting a lot of emails from that site (that I do not open I just delete). Is my father a jokester or is God trying to tell me something?
PS I do NOT internet date!

ANIMAL SOUNDS

Did you know, just like humans, animals in different countries speak different languages? Check the differences between American animals and those living in the Czech Republic:
Bird
A- tweet tweet
C- pip pip

Cat
A- meow
C- mnau

Dog
A- woof woof
C- haf haf

Pig
A- oink oink
C- chro chro

Frog
A- ribbit ribbit
C- kvack kvack

Duck
A-quack quack
C- taj taj

Cow
A- moo
C- bu
Yeah...so apparently, a cow says bu and a ghost says mu and an owl says hu and when you want to scare someone you don't jump out and say "Boo!" (because that is what a cow says) you say "baf!" I'm so confused.

ABSOLUTE FAVORITE SIGN

My absolute favorite sign that summer is approaching is Chaco tan lines on my feet.

POSTFONTAINE

Once upon a time, these guys helped me have a fun summer. So I thought I'd return the favor and add a link on my right hand side for their blog. Postfontaine: your guide for a COMPLETE LISTING OF UPCOMING SHOWS in the Salt Lake area (cap letters are your cue to click on it to go to the official website).
PS there's a pretty sweet line-up for the upcoming months...and a link on the blog to get 10% off coupons at Bastille for all of your tasteful shopping needs.

NEW IN TOWN

Last night, I went to the Plzen Plaza to see the movie New in Town. I'm not the biggest Renee Zellweger fan but I liked this movie because:
1. Renee's character Lucy had an amazing wardrobe (love that plaid coat and her heels).
2. Harry Connick, Jr...enough said.
3. It played in English and had CZ subtitles so there were certain parts where I was the only one in the theater laughing because you can't really translate the joke and have it be as funny. Examples:
Blanche is giving hints to the ingredients of her tapioca pudding and says it's mostly something and whey. Another lady says, "No way!" and Blanche responds with, "Yes, whey!" And then there is the sign in the background at the cafe towards the end that reads Fish Fry Fri. I love the English language!
4. I often feel the way Lucy felt towards the factory workers in her little Minnesota town, dontcha know. I just love and appreciate people and new places for their uniqueness. Every time I travel I fall in love with the area and leave a little piece of my heart there. (Tulsa...little piece, Ireland...little piece, Utah and California...kind of a bigger piece, Czech...little piece, Mexico...little piece, and so forth.)
Which reminds me of an awesome quote that was shared with me by my friend LaRee from St. Augustine that says: "The World is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page.” Followed up by a thought from Ralph Waldo Emerson: "Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not.”

Enough sappy talk--go see the movie.

LESSON: LEARNED

I have this strange habit of picking up cameras whenever I see them lying around or even taking someone's camera who has asked me to take a photo for them and sneaking a shot of myself while they get ready/nobody is looking (yes, even on stranger's cameras). I guess I think it's funny. And, well, it pretty much is...until the photos get posted and I get caught with snaps like these:

Lesson: learned...for at least a day or two.

ONE SUGGESTION

So, maybe you smoke. It is indeed a bad habit (and we all have those) but whatver..it's your choice. I just have one suggestion:
DON'T STAND IN A CROWD OF PEOPLE AND BLOW YOUR SMOKE IN THE FACES OF PEOPLE WHO DON'T SMOKE.
It's disgusting and incredibly selfish and rude! Just had to get that off my chest since Czech is listed in the top 10 countries that consume the most cigarettes per capita.

DEUTSCHLAND

I had a day off yesterday, so my Czech pal Martin and I jumped on a train and had a super fun day in Germany visiting Amberg and Regensburg. While there I decided two things:
1)I've become sort of a gummi bear snob and will forever most likely only buy Haribo gummi bears (Haribo macht kinder froh und erwachsene ebenso...kids and grown-ups love it so) and
2)I'd much rather listen to people speak/read German and not understand it than listen to people speak/read Czech.
Deutchland...love that country and everything in it!

CARLSBAD

...and I'm not talking about California. Here the city is called Karlovy Vary and has a great history:

It is said that Charles IV went hunting in the woods. During the hunt, one of the hounds started to run after an animal. The hound fell into a pool where hot water does now burst from the ground. The hound began to howl so the hunters ran to the him. The marvel which they saw amazed them greatly. They stepped closer, pulled the hound from the pool, and then tasted of the hot water which had fallen in.

The event was reported to the Emperor Charles IV, who then went to marvel at this singular wonder of nature. In the presence of his physicians, the wise ruler said that such hot water may drive off many grave ailments, and that it was beneficial and invigorating. Then he himself used the water (it is said that he had an afflicted leg), and sensed assuagement and improvement. The ruler was overjoyed at this, and soon gave orders that the whole place be settled, and that around the springs, houses be built.

Today, locals go to drink the water from the springs to be healed and tourists mix the waters causing them to get diarrhea. I went yesterday with the local American missionaries and we drank the waters from our special cups.
deanna: 2
healing waters causing diarrhea: 0

BIGGEST PRESENT

For her birthday, Ivana said size matters for presents and she wanted lots of them. So, Milan and William did as directed and brought her home a 14 foot birthday trampoline. Judging by her face, I'm not quite sure this is what she meant or how she wanted to spend her time as we assembled the thing during her garden birthday BBQ. But good news is everyone else loves it!

DEAR UTAH FRIENDS,

Click here! Go to this!

Free fun for the whole family...or with friends. June 16. There is also a schedule of other cities on the tour stop for my non Utah friends. Come on ride that train!

BOOGER EATER

So picking your nose is gross...whatever. But picking your nose AND eating it completely disgusts me. I was NEVER a booger eater! I remember thinking one time when I was little: OK I'll do it so I know what all the hype is about...but, alas, I stared at the booger on my finger and couldn't bring myself to do it (I chickened out). Nope. Never. Eating boogers IS disgusting. End of story.

I DON'T WILL BE NEEDING YOU

I know what you're thinking...deanna, you were brought to the Czech Republic to share your English speaking skills, but sometimes when I hear the words "I don't will be needing you today," I just get so happy I don't want to hear it the correct way.

Otherwise, if I didn't have my free time, I wouldn't be able to give turtles high-fives, pose like a flamingo at the zoo, dance the pants off the czechs, see the sights, and other various bomba vylets.

OFFER THEIR SEAT

People in Czech will push you with their cart in line at the grocery store, be all up in your business when you are struggling with money to pay for things, and rush you to get on or off the train/bus/whatever. However, if an older person or a lady enters the tram, younger people and men will get up to offer their seat to them. I enjoy it every time I see it.

PUNCH

WARNING: Do NOT drink the fruit punch at a Czech party...even if the party is for a 1year birthday celebration of a little girl and the punch is within reach of small fingers. Contents will make you feel fruitier than it looks. Enough said.

FATTY

The one thing I keep hearing as my Czech loved ones see me is, "You look thin. Have you lost the weight? It's good!" In fact, I am pretty sure EVERYONE has said that.
So apparently I left to America as a fatty. Six months of dumplings and eating 8 times a day will do that to you, I suppose.
Next, I try to explain that I didn't necessarily lose weight in America...but I GAINED weight in Czech and THIS is what I normally look like.
And then I reassure them I won't leave a fatty this time and I get reminded of my promise every time I pass the sausages at a BBQ.
Thank you, Czech Republic.

3 THINGS

3 things in life I wish could always be free no matter where you are in the world:

*clean water
*parking
*use of toilets

FAKT JO

Maybe I act like I am 12 years old sometimes, but hearing this phrase makes me giggle a bit. Go ahead and say it out loud to yourself (fahkt yo). The first time I heard it said I was a little taken back. I started to hear it a lot and thought these Czechs are little cussers. Then I learned it's a phrase equivalent to "Is that a fact?!" in English. Say it again fakt jo, fakt jo, fakt jo. Tee hee.

NO RETURN POLICY

The local T-mobile salesgirl was about to feel the wrath of deanna when she told me misleading information to make a sale then revealed the truth after selling the item and telling me there is a no return policy. I am NOT a stupid American who will just take the unfair deal and I stayed until I got my Kc's back. She probably has a bad impression of American consumers now but my Czech salesclerk AND T-mobile customer service opinion was lowered a notch or two. (I wasn't mean...I was just persistent.)I DO NOT LIKE STORE POLICIES OF NO RETURNS, deanna I am.

SMURFS

How long has it been since you watched an episode of the Smurfs? Too long for me obviously because I am loving the season 1 DVD with all the ridiculous lingo. Listen to these sentences I heard:
*Ah, Smurfette, I'm gonna smurf you the smurfiest present ever.
*Absmurflutely!
*Go on...smurf me a good one!
What exactly is a smurf?! A noun, verb, adjective...what??

AHOJ

The all-too-familiar words and sights of the Czech Republic are sinking in my heart and head right now. That's right, I'm back in Plzen and all Chizzeched in as of 10am this morning for another 3 months. Keep in touch through facebook, this here blog, email, text messages (but don't always expect a response because it's free for me to receive but costs a pretty penny...or 40...for me to send em), or try tying a note around the neck of a magical unicorn and see if that reaches me. OR maybe, just maybe, you can come to Prague and we can hang out on Charles Bridge dodging spiders and eating rohliks till our hearts content...just a suggestion. Ahoj.

FAREWELL PROJECT 626

When I left to Oklahoma, I left my car with the parental unit and told them to try to sell it if they knew of a buyer since I was considering purchasing a new one. Well, my mother phoned me one day while I was there to inform me that she didn't sell it, but had decided to trade it in so SHE could get a new car. Uh what?! I laughed and didn't know if she was serious. To my surprise, upon returning home Friday night (for three days to get ready to leave Tuesday morning for Czech), I noticed there was no more Mazda and there was indeed a new car parked in the driveway.
So I bid farewell to Project 626. Much fun was had in all the seats of that car by many. My your new owner be able to handle your sweet curves and dodgy back seat passenger door lock.

THANK YOU LEANN WOMACK...

Living might mean taking chances
But they're worth taking.
Lovin' might be a mistake
But it's worth making.

I AM ACTUALLY ADMITTING THIS...

I am actually admitting this...and I know it is kinda nerdy, but I love squished pennies. They are my favorite souvenir of all time. I don't need expensive t-shirts, key chains, or stuffed animals to take home from a vacation; I just need 51 cents and I am in heaven.

So if you want me to fall in love with you or to be my best friend...and yes, I am admitting money WILL buy my love (at least in the form of a penny) you can go to this site CLICK CLICK and check for machines on your route and maybe we can work out a trade. They just make me smile.

*DISCLAIMER: Purchasing a squished penny for me might not actually make me fall in "love" with you (especially if you are a member of the same sex)...and I don't even think the god of love himself knows what will do that, but you are 100% money-back guaranteed that it will cause me to really really really like you.

LEFTOVERS

I am a total leftover fan. If I don't finish my food at a restaurant, I love To Go boxes (in fact I usually eat the food on the car ride home). But I have found one food that doesn't taste so good the next day: Macaroni and Cheese.

FLUSHED

Last Saturday, I learned cell phones CAN and WILL flush down the toilet. Enough said. So if you have my digits and want me to have yours, go ahead and text my celltron with your name and I'll save it. If you don't want me to have your number any more and didn't know how to tell me, then you're off the hook...your worries are now flushed and swimming with the fishies.

PS This blast from the past song came to my mind immediately following the event.

DEAR CAP'N

Dear Cap'n (of the crunch variety),
As with most boys, it seems I have developed a love/hate relationship with you. I love to eat your cereal in the morning, but hate how it scratches the roof of my mouth. Will we stand the test of time and remain together til empty bag do us part or will I need to move on down the aisle to another, more gentler variety?
xoxoxo

OKC

On Monday, my new Jersey welder friend Matt and I went to Oklahoma City to see some new sights. After passing many tolls, plenty of Cowboy museums, and fighting the wind yet once again we made it to OKC.

1st stop: the OKC bombing memorial. Mental note to self-if you try to take a photo on self timer and the day is super windy, the camera may have a sticker that says it's shock proof up to 4ft but the marble on the ground WILL crack it and Olympus will NOT fix it after it's blown off the hand rail.

2nd stop: Pops. It's essentially a gas station with 259 varieties of soda pop in a bottle, a small diner where they put egg on a BLT and fizz up your cup with Round Barn Root Beer only available there in Arcadia, a ginormous soda bottle outside that lights up and changes color at night, and an amazing million dollar awning. Oh and they had cool handles on the sink and toilet in the bathroom.

3rd stop:Pole Position Raceway (or P2R for us VIP members). After I realized we weren't playing bumper cars, I'm pleased to say we made top 12 fastest times for the week.

4th stop:The Haunted House Restaurant. I didn't see any ghosts but the cold temp, 192 year old hostess, creaking doors, spooky music from the iPhone, and hauntingly delicious food made for a frightfully good time.

I KNOW FOR A FACT YOU DON'T PARTY

I totally took a photo with Hot Rod and the Easter Bunny. My name is deanna and...I like to party!

PS If you haven't seen the movie Hot Rod, well I'd have to say you used to be legit. You were too legit. You were too legit to quit. but now you're not legit. you're unlegit. And for that reason, you must quit.

EASTER IN THE BIBLE BELT

We piled into the suburban to go to what we thought was just your average Easter egg hunt at the local Methodist Church. But, alas, we were fooled into a 2 hour eggstravaganza where I left with scriptures on silver coins and these jumping Jesus, Mary, and dove toys (THE best prizes from the egg hunt in my opinion). Gotta love Easter in the Bible Belt!

THE CURIOUS CASE OF THE TACKY BUTTON

Last month, I mailed a greeting card with a gift card inside home to my dad. As I stepped up to the counter at the post office/bank/dry cleaner (all in one location...don't ask), I inquired about the helpful clerk's button she was wearing on her shirt. She giggled in excitement that I noticed and told me the meaning of it. Great. Then she gladly set my envelope aside to hand stamp it and charged me $0.42 for the stamp along with the price of some post card stamps I also needed to purchase.

Today, after having a great morning of finding a gem of a book at the local used book store (it's called The Dot and the Line: a Romance in Lower Mathematics by Norton Juster) for only 25 cents, eating a salad with some super yummy poppy seed dressing, and being oh-so-happy about the lack of wind this afternoon, I started to get annoyed by the construction traffic and horrible drivers in Tulsa. My bad. But the last stop on my errand list was the post office and then I was off the road.



Keep in mind, I was at the same post office, mailing the same contents (happy birthday Brother Darren this time), and in line with the same clerk at the counter. The only difference was I didn't ask about her just as equally tacky button on her shirt today and questioned her when she wanted to charge me $0.62 for a normal sized, first-class weight envelope because she couldn't run it through her machine...which meant she would hand stamp it (which wasn't a problem last time). What the heck?! Just goes to show both your attitude and the clerks at the counter can effect the whole transaction. Beast.

21st & RIVERSIDE

My new favorite place in Tulsa: 21st and Riverside. There is a park with ducks, playgrounds, and a machine that lets you borrow a bike (as long as you return it within 24 hours) for free to ride down the path along the river. I felt like I was in California only with less beach and more wind.

APRIL FOOLED

I desperately needed a hair cut this day so I turned down 81st and looked for my local hair salons. I went into one place that said they do family cuts for men, women and children starting at $10.95/ cut. When I walked in, the lady said it was $40.95 for women for a wash, cut, and style. However, they don't really have many women customers so they don't really style it (just a blow dry) because they don't have any brushes in the place. OK SO I thanked her for her time and walked out.

Next stop, a place that actually had salon in the name. They wanted to charge me $35 for just a cut. "Do you blow dry it or do I leave sopping wet?" was my question. $25 more for that and then extra for a style.

With a few other stops in between, I finally gave up and walked into the next salon I saw and let my sista stylist do her work. I instructed her not to cut it too much no matter what I told her (because I love to notice a difference when I get it cut but I'm trying to grow it out). When I left, my hair was slightly above my shoulders making it a little bit shorter than planned...I guess I was April fooled.

I HATE PSORIASIS...

...but I hate death even more. I just saw this commercial tonight and I can't believe anyone would even consider taking this medication after hearing the side effects. It's like when Fat Free Pringles containing olestra were introduced to the market and the can warned it may cause loose stool and abdominal cramping. Ok sign me up! Seriously people?!