Saturday, May 5, 2012


I don't write many serious posts because I remember sharing this journal entry below (written Nov 27, 2005) and I was told maybe my expectations were too high. But I don't think so. Come what may and love it...and I'm loving it EVERY day! I still believe this. Here's the post:

"Maybe I'm thinkin myself in a hole, wondering who I am when I oughtta know...Straighten up now, it's time to go." -Ben Folds

From this sea of discontent, I've wrestled with many feelings and learned a lot this past year. I've learned that I want and deserve many things in life. I want to love and to be loved. I want to talk, to listen, and to be heard. I want to learn and grow and develop new skills. I want to work hard and dare to achieve those things that others think to be impossible. 

I long to share all that I have with someone who desires the same....along that same line, I want to feel like I am the number 1 choice, not the choice after every other girl says no. 
I do believe in fairytales and know there can be a happy ending. I want to lead a life that will lead me to happiness; a life that will make me proud; a life that I love to live and can't wait for a new day/challenge/goal to come. 

I want to smell the flowers, hear the birds sing, feel the sun on my face, dance to each song, and taste the rain as it falls. I want to laugh, to cry (not too much), to love, and feel. 
Of course, I want to win, but I also don't want to be scared to lose. 

I pray I can forgive and be forgiven-to accept others faults because I know I have plenty of my own.
I desire to dare to take the path less traveled to places many don't know about. 

If I make a committment, then I want others to know I will keep it and I want to trust that others will do the same. I want to learn from the past and look to the future with hope. I want to meet each day with confidence. I will have courage to do what I know is right and will not let my values drop or faith be shaken. I want to live each day to the fullest because I've learned that life is precious and there sometimes won't be a "tomorrow" or "next time." 

I want to love with everything I have and share that love with everyone I meet. You have to listen to be heard. You have to give to get. You have to step up to the plate and swing away. The best lessons might come from the most pain, but sometimes hearts are meant to be broken and wounds WILL heal. 

And finally, the best words of advice come from a familiar voice "You've got to know when to hold 'em; know when to fold 'em; know when to walk away; know when to run." WOW...SERIOUS FACE 


LarissaMormon said...

You deserve it all, Deanna. Love you! <3