Tuesday, January 12, 2010


I went to Super Target in Madison for some much needed emergency essentials. First of all, the floor plan in that store is the strangest I've ever seen. Cat and dog food have their own separate aisles next to the shampoo and luggage BUT A BOTTLE OF MIDOL IS NOT TO BE FOUND ANYWHERE. Trust me I looked. So as I took my bottle of Ibuprofen, I also saw Pasta Roni shells and white cheddar were on sale and grabbed a box. Love that stuff.

I chose a lane that looked like it had the shortest wait and the cashier told me to watch out for spilled water on the ground by the conveyor belt thingy. So I stepped back as another employee came over and tried to mop it up. She was about 142 years old and I felt like I should've mopped it for her, but right at that moment I had some cramps show up and say, "Hello , deanna, my old friend," so I was trying to play it cool. Instead I stood back and let her do her job as cheerful and helpful as she was. The person behind me with their cart was loudly sighing at me for standing back so far from the belt probably so they could put their items on. As soon as the Target lady finished mopping up and warning me about 5 times to watch my step on the slippery floor, I turned around smiled at the sigher, and moved forward in line...grabbing some chocolate on the way and putting it with the rest of my items.

The cashier was trying to win customer service rep of the year and took way too long to ring everything and then started in on the 375 coupons the lady at the register had. By this time, I felt as if my ovaries were punching me one at a time saying, "Make! Some! Babies! Make! Some! Babies!" over and over again. So I opened the bottle of IBU, grabbed a few, walked over to the drinking fountain, swallowed them, and came back to line as the cashier was just finishing up with the lady in front of me. FOR THE LOVE! Bless her heart, I know she was trying to be kind, but she picked up my items and bagged them saying,"Well, now, you've got your drugs, these (pointing to a box of unmentionables), and your Kit Kat. Anything you're missing?!" and looked at the lady behind me making a face like 'YOU know what I mean!' as they both giggled.
To which I replied, "Yep, it's just one of those days." THANKS FOR ANNOUNCING IT TO THE OTHER CUSTOMERS! Maybe you could've jumped on the intercom and made an announcement for me to the WHOLE store:
"Attention Super Target customers, today on checkstand 5..."
Oh well...I want my chocolate.


Leslie said...

Would you just go make some babies already...then you wont have cramps. That has been my cure.

Cal said...

I heard if you have bad cramps, labor isn't as bad...

I don't know but I know chocolate seems to help any situation.

Muggsy said...

So wait a minute....you got your period??? That's great news!!!! I was really worried!!!!

Anonymous said...

There are some sentences a mother just shouldn't hear!!

Kara said...

Deanna, you are so funny. I'm sorry you had to go through that durinng cramping. YUCK!