THIRST

I feel like I've been a blog sell out lately. I apologize to anybody who might still read and follow me. I don't share lots of personal feelings here, but let's get personal. Truth: I'm tired of the saying that life gives us lemons and we need to take those and make lemonade. I don't want anymore lemonade (I'm totaling referencing this post here). It's not even lemon season anymore. Instead let's say when life gives you mountains, put on your hydration pack and start hiking.

The #Riskbek hydration backpack will keep you happy for a 2 liter trip, carry important stuff, and detach a belt for smaller trips.  But what about a long trek...what about a 2 year trek that life throws your way? You might run out of water and not have a spout to refill it.

Life isn't always easy. There can be heartbreaks and crazy paths along the way and no matter how optimistic you are or how happy you fake being, it doesn't always get better when we want it to get better. I honestly feel the loneliest I have ever felt in my life. I don't understand it because I used to be the girl who had no problem taking a bus/plane/drive to a foreign country where I didn't speak the language all by myself. I had so much confidence. I could take a joke. I wasn't afraid to be alone. I was always the friend who reached out to others first and it didn't matter if they reached back. 

But something has changed. I don't want to go solo. I need to be the friend who has someone reach out to me. If I do send a message to someone, I need a reply. I need to be given hugs. I need someone to take my hand when I extend mine to them. I need a random text or call during the day to let me know you're thinking about me. I kinda just need reassurance. I don't know what caused this, but I feel like I should share because I assume I'm not the only one who has ever felt this way.

I don't have a magical answer...or else I wouldn't be writing this post. I don't know how to act. I don't know what to say. I do know that I have a handful of people (I can literally count the number of people on my hands) who have been amazing friends and loved me during my lame moments. I just want to write and say I appreciate them more than they will ever know. My only advice is to be a friend to others...even when it is hard. We never know when others might need that extra push or kindness. I don't need freaking lemonade; just help me stay hydrated at my most thirsty moments. 

I appreciate you.

BFFriends

Sometimes you learn your BFF from high school has moved closer to you and you get to go visit her and her cute little family.

Sometimes that meeting includes the world's largest hamburger (don't actually check the record books and quote me on this one) at Famous Jud's in Boise.

Then you go to the local nature center and let her children take about 179 photos of flowers 

 and bugs with your cell phone camera.

 and then you end the whole trip with a photo with giant antlers. 

Now that is true friendship. Love you, Danae.

GOOD FRIENDS

Good friends don't let you do stupid things...

alone.

I am thankful for the good people who want to be part of my life.

Thank you for the love and many laughs.

ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE

I think we are on this earth to either be loved or love others.

I have come to conclusion that I am here to love.

It's ok. Seeing people happy honestly makes me super happy.

Even though life might be extra crappy in my life for the past year and a half, I have recently met quite a few people who, for some reason, needed to hear a story or experience from me or to get a hug from me. Sometimes I meet people and feel like I am supposed to wrap them up in my love...so I do. I'm not saying I'm an angel on Earth...no no no...I'm far from that. However, I do believe we meet people at certain times and for certain reasons and I am thankful for that.

The Beatles had it right the whole time...

ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE.

GET A DOG

If you love someone, let them go. 

If you hate someone, let them go.

This basically means people suck.

Let everyone go and get a dog.

Just kidding. 

But really...dogs are awesome.

FRIENDSHIP

Isn't it great to have friends that you may have not seen for 5 years,

but every time you get together you pick up right where you left off.

BFF

LOVES

It is the nature of paths to cross. There may be road blocks or different courses taken along the way, yet once we meet, you will be in my heart forever. (Sorry-- no exit signs.)

I'm not sure if the fault is in our paths or in our hearts, but I want you to know you are loved. 

*In my best Willie Nelson voice* You are always on my mind.

Loves.

Kia Kaha - STAY STRONG

I shared some advice in a post yesterday that was given to me. You know, the one that says: "If someone breaks your heart, just punch them in the face. Seriously. Punch them in the face and go get some ice cream."

Well, I went with my pal Joe for some ice cream. We got the cute cones with two scoops. I even tried the #snacknado flavor from Baskin Robbins....that's how badly I needed ice cream.

After the treat, we watched the movie Forever Strong. It's from 2008 and has my favorite bad guy Neal McDonough in it (the guy with the white hair and super blue eyes). It's based on a true story about a high school rugby player who gets busted for drunk driving and sent to a Juvenile Detention Center. He is too selfish and stubborn to learn anything there, so his counselor (Rudy!) allows him to play on the Highland rugby team with the amazing coach Larry Gelwix. Coach Gelwix has an odd approach to coaching that won him over 360 games in his coaching history. *Blah blah blah...(spoiler alert) the kid learns his lesson, he gets a hug from his dad at the end, and they win the championship.

Throughout the movie, the main character keeps trying to play his own match, while the coach is trying to teach him they win/score/play as a team. At the end, coach tells him, "Don't spend another minute being angry about yesterday." This got me thinking. Yesterday, my feelings were SUPER hurt. While I won't allow myself to do things that will harm my integrity, I also won't abandon you. That's right...once I let you in my heart, you are forever on my team. I will be there for you through your good and bad times. I will be there to punch you when you may need it (just to say straighten up), but I promise not to punch you and walk away. I want you to succeed. I want us to succeed. I can't force anything, but I can offer my help and love and THAT will always stay strong. Kia Kaha.

I love you; you're my friend.

F-R-I-E-N-D-S

Make new friends, 

but keep the old.

One is silver,

the other is gold.

 I'm not sure why 

or how 

 I met these kids.

 But I sure am lucky I did.

 Thank you for being a friend.

Derek's going back to Canada, Jarvie is a gypsy, and the other peeps might never cross my path again, but I think God puts people in our lives at certain times for good reasons.

Many thanks to Casey for the photos.

WE ALL HAVE BAD DAYS

Honesty time:

I have had a few days recently where if I went to a store and the cashier asked how I was doing, I'd say I'm ok and then fight back tears. I didn't want to burden anyone so I have been hiking a lot and avoiding going to public places. I figure if I hike, no one will talk to me. Perfect.

Under the circumstances of events that have recently happened in my life (losing my brother AND a best friend from my life). I have felt unwanted, unloved, and unimportant. I am a smart girl. I think I have a strong understanding of my emotions. I know bad things happen to people all the time. Heck, even worse things happen to others. But still these feelings came to me. I know I am a daughter of God. I know we all have individual worth. I know things will work out. I know all of these things and so much more. I just maybe needed that reassurance that in a world that has a lot of bad things where horrible things happen, there are still good people out there. I am thankful for that. 

These tiny acts of kindness and numerous hugs from strangers have helped me see the world is beauty full. 

Thank you to the girl at the tanning salon who left me this note when I colored my hair too dark and  didn't want people to think I was depressed with my pasty white skin (don't judge me).

Thank you to Alex and Ani for the cute bangle and positive (+) energy.

Just making lemonade. every. day.

Thank you to friends who knew I needed a laugh or maybe a cupcake.

Thank you to the random lady who on my hike stopped and asked if I needed to talk, but understood I just needed a hug and someone to cry with me.

I encourage us all to reach out to others. Be the friend someone might need at that moment. Be the smile, shoulder to cry on, and hug that seems so little, but makes a world of difference. Be a little more kind, compassionate, and empathetic. Essentially, be a the best you and then reach a little farther. (Like those PE fitness tests where you get 3 chances to stretch because the teacher knows you need to warm up, stretch, and then you can reach just a LITTLE bit farther). 

I love the words in this Walls (Circus) song by Tom Petty. Give it a listen or read the lyrics below. We all have bad days. It's what we do with our bad days that counts. Loves.

Some days are diamonds
Some days are rocks
Some doors are open
Some roads are blocked

Sundowns are golden
Then fade away

....

Sometimes you're happy
Sometimes you cry
Half of me is ocean
Half of me is sky
....
Some things are over
Some things go on
Part of me you carry
Part of me is gone