I feel like I've been a blog sell out lately. I apologize to anybody who might still read and follow me. I don't share lots of personal feelings here, but let's get personal. Truth: I'm tired of the saying that life gives us lemons and we need to take those and make lemonade. I don't want anymore lemonade (I'm totaling referencing this post here). It's not even lemon season anymore. Instead let's say when life gives you mountains, put on your hydration pack and start hiking.
The #Riskbek hydration backpack will keep you happy for a 2 liter trip, carry important stuff, and detach a belt for smaller trips. But what about a long trek...what about a 2 year trek that life throws your way? You might run out of water and not have a spout to refill it.
Life isn't always easy. There can be heartbreaks and crazy paths along the way and no matter how optimistic you are or how happy you fake being, it doesn't always get better when we want it to get better. I honestly feel the loneliest I have ever felt in my life. I don't understand it because I used to be the girl who had no problem taking a bus/plane/drive to a foreign country where I didn't speak the language all by myself. I had so much confidence. I could take a joke. I wasn't afraid to be alone. I was always the friend who reached out to others first and it didn't matter if they reached back.
But something has changed. I don't want to go solo. I need to be the friend who has someone reach out to me. If I do send a message to someone, I need a reply. I need to be given hugs. I need someone to take my hand when I extend mine to them. I need a random text or call during the day to let me know you're thinking about me. I kinda just need reassurance. I don't know what caused this, but I feel like I should share because I assume I'm not the only one who has ever felt this way.
I don't have a magical answer...or else I wouldn't be writing this post. I don't know how to act. I don't know what to say. I do know that I have a handful of people (I can literally count the number of people on my hands) who have been amazing friends and loved me during my lame moments. I just want to write and say I appreciate them more than they will ever know. My only advice is to be a friend to others...even when it is hard. We never know when others might need that extra push or kindness. I don't need freaking lemonade; just help me stay hydrated at my most thirsty moments.
I appreciate you.