WE ALL HAVE BAD DAYS

Honesty time:

I have had a few days recently where if I went to a store and the cashier asked how I was doing, I'd say I'm ok and then fight back tears. I didn't want to burden anyone so I have been hiking a lot and avoiding going to public places. I figure if I hike, no one will talk to me. Perfect.

Under the circumstances of events that have recently happened in my life (losing my brother AND a best friend from my life). I have felt unwanted, unloved, and unimportant. I am a smart girl. I think I have a strong understanding of my emotions. I know bad things happen to people all the time. Heck, even worse things happen to others. But still these feelings came to me. I know I am a daughter of God. I know we all have individual worth. I know things will work out. I know all of these things and so much more. I just maybe needed that reassurance that in a world that has a lot of bad things where horrible things happen, there are still good people out there. I am thankful for that. 

These tiny acts of kindness and numerous hugs from strangers have helped me see the world is beauty full. 

Thank you to the girl at the tanning salon who left me this note when I colored my hair too dark and  didn't want people to think I was depressed with my pasty white skin (don't judge me).

Thank you to Alex and Ani for the cute bangle and positive (+) energy.

Just making lemonade. every. day.

Thank you to friends who knew I needed a laugh or maybe a cupcake.

Thank you to the random lady who on my hike stopped and asked if I needed to talk, but understood I just needed a hug and someone to cry with me.

I encourage us all to reach out to others. Be the friend someone might need at that moment. Be the smile, shoulder to cry on, and hug that seems so little, but makes a world of difference. Be a little more kind, compassionate, and empathetic. Essentially, be a the best you and then reach a little farther. (Like those PE fitness tests where you get 3 chances to stretch because the teacher knows you need to warm up, stretch, and then you can reach just a LITTLE bit farther). 

I love the words in this Walls (Circus) song by Tom Petty. Give it a listen or read the lyrics below. We all have bad days. It's what we do with our bad days that counts. Loves.

Some days are diamonds
Some days are rocks
Some doors are open
Some roads are blocked

Sundowns are golden
Then fade away

....

Sometimes you're happy
Sometimes you cry
Half of me is ocean
Half of me is sky
....
Some things are over
Some things go on
Part of me you carry
Part of me is gone

BROTHER TIM

I wasn't asked to speak at my brother's funeral today so I would like to share a few fond memories I have of him here. 

I remember him:
*looking out of the car window on a road trip and asking if a field of cows were bears. He had an eye exam scheduled for the next week.
*after getting his glasses, my uncle Duane was visiting and making fun of him by calling him 4-eyes and such. Duane then put on his glasses and realized there was a whole new world out there (green trees on the mountains, letters on license plates, etc). Duane then had an eye exam scheduled for the next week.
*sneaking into the racquetball club with me because our parents couldn't afford the membership anymore. As we were leaving, he told me the staff were chasing us and we had to jump out of the window and run home through the outdoor tennis courts. I didn't notice the net between courts and ran straight into one and had a black eye the next day.
*jumping off bridges in California.
*singing The Proclaimers 500 Miles song over and over with me during a road trip with our mom.
*wrestling in the family room.
*hiding food in the best spots in the refrigerator so nobody else could find it and eat it.
*giving each other "santa sleigh rides" down the stairs in our house (one person would get in a blanket or sleeping bag while the other pulled them down the stairs in the wackiest way possible).
*throwing Easter eggs over the fence at the neighbor's house with my cousin Brian. My mom found out because the police came by to tell him to stop.
*jumping on the trampoline and slip & sliding.
*bleaching our hair at home (yikes).
*having his friend Marcus cut my grandma's toe nails while watching Lawrence Welk reruns.
*getting $1 to spend at the Penny Candy Store with me every time we went to visit our grandparents.
*helping with Christmas "ding-dong-ditch" and getting in the wrong car. "Gas it, Freda!"
*somehow knowing when anyone in our family was eating for pizza for dinner and he was there within minutes to share. EVERY TIME.
*riding in the car and carrying a bicycle out of the window because it wouldn't fit in the backseat & riding his bike home while carrying a ladder a different night.
*giving me rides in his Jetta named Sparticus.
*buying a pair of ski poles from the thrift shop, nailing his shoes to 2x4's, and trying to ski down the hill in our backyard when we moved to Utah.
*eating only super healthy foods at his house with his family and then coming to my parent's house and sneaking junk food.
*teaching me how to drive a stick shift by pulling him in the snow behind my dad's truck in the church parking lot.
*bragging about giving my dad the best Christmas present (shirt from Saver's) while I gave him some "tacky famous signed Picasso" piece.
*always being able to mutter a funny comment under his breath.
*eating our mother's famous enchiladas.
*sneaking poopy diapers from his babies under the seat in my car on hot sunny days.
*cutting down Christmas trees together (wherever we found the best one).
*saying, "My name is Tim and I like to party."
*being willing to help out whenever he found a chance.
*making everyone laugh.
*trying to be the best dad - the cool dad.
*smiling and getting whatever he wanted. Ugh...that made me so jealous sometimes.

I love you, brother Tim.

Like Rod, Tim likes to party. He just took his party to another place for a bit.

FAMILY LOVE

My 37 year-old, super healthy brother, Tim, had a stroke Tuesday night. He left this earth this morning. My family had such a horrible time with hospital staff and other "family" members and "friends" through the entire experience. 

Do me a favor? Hug a family member. Tell them you love them. Be thankful for the time you have together. Be sure to be kind to them and others around you ALWAYS.

I'm thankful I have the knowledge that families are forever and know I will see him again.

FAMILIES ARE FOREVER & OAKLAND

Last night, my mother and I could only find 1 hotel with a room for us to sleep in. Apparently, there was a big baseball game and kite festival in Berkeley that weekend.

 We left our fancy 1-star hotel

 to had lunch at Nation's Giant Hamburgers...and giant they were!

We still had a couple hours before the party for Aunt Helen today so we drove to Oakland to another one of my favorite places.

The Oakland temple

The flowers and palm trees on the grounds are gorgeous.

While it is sad that Aunt Helen passed, she did live 99 great years. She was a kind woman who had a love for travel, knowledge, service, and cats.

 During the celebration, my mother and I were able to visit with family members to look at photos and share stories.

I'm a Mormon kid. In my religion, we believe families are forever and even though some leave the earth, we will see each other again one day.