FEAR ME OUT ON THESE

There are a few things that come to mind that scare me in this world.
1. SPIDERS
How can something so little be so horrifying and have such a horrible bite that it's venum has the effect in a human so big (in comparison) to block impulses to the muscles, cause cramps, rigidity, and have a general paralyzing effect. Or possibly turn you into a web throwing super hero (not sure if that one is bad or not).
2. SHARKS

A little bit bigger and a lot more teeth. A recent article about an Australian guy who thought he was swimming by a dolphin said he poked the 16-foot fella in the eye when he dragged him under the water and the monster let go (just a tip).
3. HAVING AN ANEURYSM
I saw it in an after school special movie with Ricky Schroeder when I was like ten years old. The young newly-wed couple had a baby and the mother had a headache and then fell down and died from an aneurysm and left hottie Ricky alone to raise the baby by himself. Sounds silly but it's had me scared ever since.
4. THE OLD LADY FLAT SQUISHED WIDE BUTT

You know what I'm talking about...no more sit down jobs and plenty of running hills for me to take care of this booty.
5. GAS?
I'd add gas prices getting higher but I know there is nothing I can do about that. NOTHING. Nope, no matter how many times people say they're not gonna buy gas on a certain day, it's not gonna work. So either get a higher paying job so you can afford it and quit whinging (you never see Beyonce in the news complaining about how much she has to pay per gallon) or buy a bus pass, walk, or maybe get a skateboard and quit being so gay (no offense to my gay friend Shane).
6. 80's FASHION

I pray the shoulder pads, stirrup pants, and four-hour hair like Blair from the Facts of Life tv show never come back. NEVER.