Wednesday, December 17, 2014

You Say You Want A RESOLUTION...

A new year is coming upon us soon and that means the topic of writing "new year resolutions" is about to be the big buzz. I don't write resolutions. I have pretended to make them in the past, but never really followed through with any of my forced goal writing. But this year....well, this year has been a different one. I'd say 2014 was a doozy for me and most things didn't go the way I planned. It has caused me to reflect on the last few years and things I have experienced.

So I've been working in the nanny biz for a little while. The monetary benefits might not have been huge, but the knowledge and experience I have gained is priceless. Yes, I have been able to travel to different countries, drive a Ferrari, stay in exotic resorts, and do things most ordinary people only dream about (I don't have a list like Tom Cruise or anything). Those things were fun, but I also saw lives and relationships torn apart due to lust, greed, and deceit.

OK (serious face), it's about to get deep. I have seen tires slashed, computers smashed, and fights break out because of issues with trust. I have seen children suffer due to parents choosing to indulge in their selfish sexual desires with people outside of their bonds of marriage. I have witnessed jobs lost and self-esteem plummet due to alcohol and other addictions.

Partying, drinking, and having sex with lots of partners might sound appealing when the opportunity arrives, but what is more important: a happy home and life or just "having fun" in the moment? OK I'm not saying you can't have fun if you aren't doing those things...we are on this earth to be happy. You just have to choose your type of fun wisely.

Having friends is great. Having friends who drag you down (whether you realize it or not) is not great. Who is probably going to be there with a truck to help you pack and move from one house or apartment to another (or help when you lose a job, when your car breaks down and you're stranded by the side of the road, or you're just down on your luck)? Will it be your drinking buddy from that one party and the stripper from the club or will it be your family and long-term friends who really love and care about you?

I hope I'm making sense so far. Please stay with me. The purpose of this post, going back to making those NYE resolutions, is that I realize I need to reevaluate my life and the things that are most important to me (and maybe we all do) so that we can be happy now AND in the future. I feel like I have been starting to do this. I was a real beast this year. I had a major grumpy cat attitude which me made feel like people were picking on me and made me defensive. Ugh the "poor me" attitude was hurting my relationship with the people I loved most. I have begun to reach out to apologize and make things better. I have realized life is beauty full and have started looking for the good in people, places, and things everywhere I go again. I can't change the way other people live. I can't make people feel certain ways. I can offer advice and hopefully a good example, but ultimately, I can only control myself.

So I am setting goals for myself this year. Real goals...not fake goals just to make a good blog post. I am setting some spiritual goals because I actually have seen some good marriages where the family prayed, ate dinner, talked, and were happy together because they included God in their daily life. I am setting some fitness goals because I want a banging body for that future husband of mine so he doesn't even dream of googling porn or looking elsewhere. Oh, and the fitness goals are because I know being healthy and taking care of my body helps in every aspect of my life (I'm not husband hungry). I am setting educational goals to help keep me smart and ever witty. Finally (I don't want to put too much pressure on myself with 100 goals so I don't crumble and give up), I am setting personal goals. These personal goals are to help me find inner peace, be more kind and serve others, and to just simply love the good life I have been blessed with here on earth. I am going to share my feelings (mostly just the nice ones), say 'I love you', and appreciate people (including myself) more. I can be more forgiving, more willing to accept and extend love, more trust-ing, and just be motherflippin awesome the best way I know how (on the clean and sober train). I want to be the person I am looking for in a future, long term relationship (I can say marriage...it doesn't scare me anymore). I just want to be the best me. These are my new year resolutions. I love you.
Don't judge me for knowing this is #11 on Oprah's Favorite Things list for 2014, but I love this magnetic board quote. PS they are made locally in Utah -- go home team!

3 comments:

Rebekah said...

Deanna, I hope this upcoming year exceeds all your expectations. I wish for you and your beautiful soul much happiness. Love you!

Kara said...

good girl!

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